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urgfisflexible
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Name: Michael(Mike)
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Cincinnati
Gender: Male
Interests: I like....swimming,females,reading (yeah, I said it, you MTV retard)...music(bigtime..mostly classic/punk/alternative/indie rock...but I listen to everything)...and my guitar...
Expertise: Making fun of people/being hilarious should be a paying job
(If you said "Yeah...and you'd be making minimum wage"..I am going to slap you)
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  cudasaywhat
Member Since:
6/27/2005
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| I'm in love with the world.
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| I. don't. want. to. updatethisthing.
...adding to my grand list of things I don't want to do.
Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Glad You're Still Alive, etc., etc.
Hmm, so all you pagans...I'll ramble about my Christmas killings...
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woo...new computer/printer--can't wait to spend a year setting it
up...but I'm looking forward to being able to harass you at 2 flippin'
gigahertz a second
...my Terminator-esque leather jacket...all it's missing is an Austrian accent.
...AFI "hands" shirt, Beatles "Revolver" shirt...sweet? to say the least.
...other stuff...uhm... iTunes for some good ol' fashioned legal music
...new shoes....brown/white Pumas from Journeys...muy, muy cool...and socks...sweet.
I think I'll horde up my best buy money...so I can waste it all at once.
Oh yeah, I got some books too...
--The Stories of Ray Bradbury- Ray Bradbury
--The Complete Writings of Edgar Allen Poe- duh.
--Othello- Shakespeare
--The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire--E. Gibbons
--The Mysterious Stranger and Other Stories- Mark Twain
--According to the Rolling Stones-duh.
--Hell is Upon Us--uhmm can't remember...
^...i'm pretty sure that's cool....oh THAT'SSS right...i don't caree...
Yesh. hoping to do something (fun) for New Years Eve...
faretheewell.
^soo...he shreds.
^Eh.
Leave comments....because you care.
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| Bleghh...you can just scroll a little farther down for the special "Pre-Christmas" insights.
I don't want to update this thing.
But if I don't...it'll end up like everything else I've ever attempted
to maintain on the Internet...totally and completely abandoned.
So...I'm typing this because:
-a.) I do it for the kids.
-b.) I need to keep the material fresh for my fans.
-c.) I live to put a smile on children's faces
-d.) I'm on a quest to discover my true purpose in life
-e.) I'm living a lie.
I bet you don't know the answer.
Anyway.
Swimming = mucho gayo....enough said personas.
Hmm...i could be doing something tonight...but I'm not.
...i call it "screaming 'COOL' from the mountaintops", but whatever.
--------
So...there's 9 days 'til Christmas...which means it's time to tell you the true meaning of it all.
First things first,
Christmas is about presents...and other things. But don't lie to
yourself, you wouldn't care if it was Dr. Phil's birthday...as long as
there were presents for you.
Instead of "All I Want For Christmas is To Be Yet Another Washed-Up
Female Pop Sellout Cultivated in a Conscious Effort by MTV and a Record
Company" by Mariah Carey...sing along to this little magical jingle...
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...
"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry f***ing Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim a$$
and f***ing celebrate.
There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout...
Hey there Mr. Hinduist,
Merry f***ing Christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu a$$
and f***ing celebrate!
Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.
On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say...
Hey there Mr. Shintoist,
Merry f***ing Christmas!
God is going to kick your a$$
You infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry f***ing Christmas to you.
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry F***ing Christmas, To You!
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hahaha...no interpretation needed.
Well, you have yourselves a happy holiday season, eh?
^if Santa looked like this...you wouldn't care as long as you got presents.
Admit it.
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| Bleghhhhhhhh...aghhh...oo....woo.
Snow day....yesssss. Any day off for generally vague and stupid reasons is a GOOD day off in my book.
Of course, they waited until the morning to show X's closings....so I
had to do all of my homework and heinous amounts of studying...'cuz I
ain't a gamblin' man...and of course, I get screwed over. And, of
course, the next time a similar situation arises, I won't do my
homework, and we'll have school. Excellent.
Anyway, did anyone else notice that Cincinnati is pathetic as far as
snow goes? Honestly, 3 inches is the first 10 minutes in just about
every other flipping place in the country that gets snow, and, being
us, we panic every time a snowflake appears. And we wouldn't be
ourselves if we didn't get irritable if we didn't have a day off for
every time it snowed.
Ah...God bless Cincinnati...we're (I really mean you're) so clueless...but it's nice.
Hmmm.....
...so, swimming is at it's usual blegh-osity level...and it's about to
hit big time with Christmas training...another reason to fear the
holidays.
I'm sure it's going to take 989846 years for it to finally be Christmas break...arg.
On a Christmas note:
---If you ever, ever say "all i want for Christmas is youuuu" in a Mariah Carey-imitation...you will be shot.
---if you ever associate Christmas anything with MTV-anything...^see above.
---if you talk about Harry Potter during the holiday season, somewhere in the world a little baby dies on Santa's lap.
^you sick, inconsiderate ba***rds
Anyway...I'll have a-have a b-bluee (ooweeoo) Christmas without youu...
^I'll be the Davey and you'll be the facemakeup...or something.
^Don't talk about Harry Potter...do it for the kids.
...
No more.... songs about you
After this one, I am done
You are, you are, you're gone | | |
| Woo.
No school, so can't complain...but I'm amazed at how little of a life I have.
I should tell you all about it in vague, emotional terms right here:
-....
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.....
......
.......
........
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......
...so yeah, that's about all I've got.
Anyway...saw "Harry Potter and the...whatever it was" today...and...
...never, ever go.
It's sort of like a "gee, i wonder what would hurt more, sticking a
fork in my eye, or dropping a hammer on my groin" experience...in a
movie theater setting.
Sooo I'm officially allowed to complain now...I've seen the stupidity in all its..stupid...-ness.
Yeeah...I'm...cool.
(scoffing is so immature)
^I'd buy a social life if only I had the money...
^this is the inner me...minus the leather pants, overtight blackness, and tatoos..but yes...me.
^Watching "The Godfather"...makes me feel as if I should be killing people...and an Italian
...comments...are my friends...
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