| | Bleghh...you can just scroll a little farther down for the special "Pre-Christmas" insights.
I don't want to update this thing.
But if I don't...it'll end up like everything else I've ever attempted
to maintain on the Internet...totally and completely abandoned.
So...I'm typing this because:
-a.) I do it for the kids.
-b.) I need to keep the material fresh for my fans.
-c.) I live to put a smile on children's faces
-d.) I'm on a quest to discover my true purpose in life
-e.) I'm living a lie.
I bet you don't know the answer.
Anyway.
Swimming = mucho gayo....enough said personas.
Hmm...i could be doing something tonight...but I'm not.
...i call it "screaming 'COOL' from the mountaintops", but whatever.
--------
So...there's 9 days 'til Christmas...which means it's time to tell you the true meaning of it all.
First things first,
Christmas is about presents...and other things. But don't lie to
yourself, you wouldn't care if it was Dr. Phil's birthday...as long as
there were presents for you.
Instead of "All I Want For Christmas is To Be Yet Another Washed-Up
Female Pop Sellout Cultivated in a Conscious Effort by MTV and a Record
Company" by Mariah Carey...sing along to this little magical jingle...
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...
"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry f***ing Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim a$$
and f***ing celebrate.
There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout...
Hey there Mr. Hinduist,
Merry f***ing Christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu a$$
and f***ing celebrate!
Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.
On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say...
Hey there Mr. Shintoist,
Merry f***ing Christmas!
God is going to kick your a$$
You infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry f***ing Christmas to you.
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry F***ing Christmas, To You!
----
hahaha...no interpretation needed.
Well, you have yourselves a happy holiday season, eh?
^if Santa looked like this...you wouldn't care as long as you got presents.
Admit it.
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| | Posted 12/16/2005 11:00 PM - 14 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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